Light as a feather

It´s been a while since my last post, but now I´m back again, light as a feather. 

 

The past three weeks have been rough, for I´ve spend most of them in the hospital. I had a short holiday between the hospital periods, but somehow I was too tired and disappointed to really enjoy it. I even went to Oulu to see my boyfriend but it didn't help at all. I hated the way I looked and felt more than ever and being close to someone made it even worse.

Yesterday I got home from my latest trip to KUH. This time the doctors and cardiologists had finally agreed on draining the fluid out of my stomach. They had to do it so that the other operations could be done safely. In less than a day, they drained over 10 litres of excess fluid out of my body. I lost seven kilos! Though the operation was slightly painfull I was so happy I wept. It felt like I had finally gotten back my own body from the aliens of illness. Lying on the hospital bed I felt so light, like hovering in the air. When I got home, I wanted to try on all my clothes that didn't fit me for the past year. The cardiologist warned me though, that this would be only temporary, that the fluid would come back. I just wish so much that I could stay like this, at least through the summer. Or untill they finally decide what to do with my poor mess of a heart. 

-Tiina