Small corrections

It's already three months from my first post. Sadly, it seems my enthusiasm towards this blog has fainted quite a lot. Honestly though the past month was so rough that I've lacked zest for everything and this blog has drifted astray. But now I'm gonna try and get back on the saddle and set this blog, and my life, back on the tracks I want them to be on. Heh, can you see the pattern here already? First I'm superhappy for a while, then I´m back in the ditches. Up and down, I should have named this blog after a rollercoaster.

Tomorrow I'm going to school and I'm gonna print my birhtday resolutions so that I can stick them on my wall. Tomorrow it's going to be another new beginning. Or mayde I would only need small corrections?

-Tiina

Light as a feather

It´s been a while since my last post, but now I´m back again, light as a feather. 

 

The past three weeks have been rough, for I´ve spend most of them in the hospital. I had a short holiday between the hospital periods, but somehow I was too tired and disappointed to really enjoy it. I even went to Oulu to see my boyfriend but it didn't help at all. I hated the way I looked and felt more than ever and being close to someone made it even worse.

Yesterday I got home from my latest trip to KUH. This time the doctors and cardiologists had finally agreed on draining the fluid out of my stomach. They had to do it so that the other operations could be done safely. In less than a day, they drained over 10 litres of excess fluid out of my body. I lost seven kilos! Though the operation was slightly painfull I was so happy I wept. It felt like I had finally gotten back my own body from the aliens of illness. Lying on the hospital bed I felt so light, like hovering in the air. When I got home, I wanted to try on all my clothes that didn't fit me for the past year. The cardiologist warned me though, that this would be only temporary, that the fluid would come back. I just wish so much that I could stay like this, at least through the summer. Or untill they finally decide what to do with my poor mess of a heart. 

-Tiina

I'm out!

Yay! I got home from the hospital earlier today and am super-happy. I have to go back there next week, but until then I'm free as a bird. And by now I've already enjoyed glasses of sparkling wine with my friends. Perhaps tomorrow I'll go to the amusement park. One has to celebrate life whenever possible =)

-Tiina

Good things in hospital.

Just a quick post about the supposedly good things in being in hospital. Mainly 'cause I'm too lazy to list all the annoyances.

-No cooking nor dishes. A huge plus.
-Expensive medicine is on the house.
-The paper in the morning.
-Multiple afternoon-naps.
-Nice view from the seventh floor.

Continueing the list any further would be lying.

- Tiina

Live! From KUH

Just testing blogging on the go.. The necklace in the pictures is a Dreamcatcher from MARI & ARROWs newest collection called Wanderlust. I spotted it last saturday and it was love at first sight! More about MARI & ARROW here.


-Tiina

Not like in Strömsö..

Well, things just didn't go quite like I hoped. I had already arranged myself a wheelchair for that trip to Helsinki, and all my friends had offered to give me push in it. We were already excited about our fieldtrip when my doctor called and told me I shouldn't go. There was an infection in my leg and I needed to go to KUH for an intravenous antibiotics treatment. I'm so disappointed, but what can I do. I've packed my bag now for a week in a hospital and next I'm gonna call myself a taxi. Unless I learn how to blog via mobile phone, you'll hear from me next time after a week or so. So, until next time, I wish you all have a nice weekend!

-Tiina

Stick Girl

Hip hey! I'm walking with crutches again. This must be the fourth time within the past year. So today, inspired by my current condition, I'd like to share this poem with you.

Stick Boy and Match Girl in Love

Stick Boy liked Match Girl,

he liked her a lot.

He liked her cute figure,

he thought she was hot.

But could a flame ever burn

for a match and a stick?

It did quite literally;

he burned up pretty quick.

Poem and illustration by Tim Burton

My leg never got better after I hurt it on May Day, so finally I went to see a doctor. And just like before, there was nothing wrong with my leg. It´s just too painfull to walk, so I got them crutches. This friday we´re going on a field trip to Helsinki to visit Marimekko and other placs and events, including Aurelia-fashion show by our own Kuopio Academy of Design. Now I'm hoping for a miracle cure, or otherwise my classmates have to push me in a wheelchair all around Helsinki.

-Tiina

Dear Sigmund..

I've been writing a diary for ages, ever since I've been eight or nine years old. I don't  write daily though, or even regularly, just when I feel like it. There are times I write every day several pages, and then there can be weeks without entries. Some of my diaries are very dear to me, and some are full of stuff that I'd rather forget. It always seems to be small event, or even crisis when my current diary is finally full. I always tend to get attached to my diary, particularly if it's full of meaningfull stuff, but it's always a fun event to go and look for a new notebook.

Lately I've been writing another kind of diary, every day as a part of my therapy. I'm supposed to write stream of consciousness on longhand for 30 minutes every morning. First on right hand for 20 minutes, then on left hand for five minutes and then again on right hand. If you´re left-handed you should do it vice-versa. The sudject is always the same: What is my goal. The whole idea of the writing is to set mind to the future.

Now, I don't know if it works for me very well. First of all, I can't write in the morning. It's impossible, it messes my whole day if I brake my morning routines. Another thing, how am I supposed to write stream of consciousness on a subject? And the third, I don't like the subject. I don't like goals. I'd rather write about happiness or something. Well, the good thing about this all is, that I got to buy a new nitebook for it. Suitably, it's covers have been decorated with parts from a manuscript called "Architecture of Hysteria" from Sigmund Freud.

Maybe I should give it another try, for two weeks maybe. There´s a goal for me.

-Tiina

That night we were young

Here's another photo post about Vappu, or May Days', celebrations. Now that I look at these photos I realise there isn't a one of me in my overalls. And I'm so proud of them! Also, like every time, afterwards I think I should've photographed more, but obviously I was too busy. 

Anyways, I celebrated with my classmates and we were supposed to take part in a student march through the city, but we managed to miss that. We'd been looking for a radio that we can take with us from our school. Later on we realised we didn't want to spend so much money on the batteries to that radio, and we'd left the power cord to school. We managed to miss all the other happenings too, like the one where the university students drop a professor in the pool. I dont know how that happened, we just forgot about it. Eventually we had a picnic and barbeque by a little pond near the city centre. Well, even then we first forgot the sausages to our friends place, and didn't remember them before we had lit the grill. There was a lot of crowd there and it was good fun. Me and Laura limped through the whole evening; Laura had had her cast taken of from her foot earlier in the morning, and I had stumbled on a rock and hurt my knee. All and all, and despite the misfortunes, it was a good night, which ended way too soon. 

Now I can't wait till next Vappu, it will be my last as a student!! Sniff =') Next time I'll have a backpack and hot rum instead of cold sparkling wine. I won't miss any occasions and I'll wear my overalls day-in-day-out through the week of Vappu.

-Tiina

The Lobotomy Sisters; Ida and I

Johanna, Heidi, Saara and Saara

 Ida barbequeing. We had some salad too. And chips and mustard. Proper picnic.

Cheers! Laura looks dubious