To be happy is to be brave

A while ago my therapist asked me what do I think happiness consists of. Back then I didn't quite know what to answer. I guess happiness is bravery. That you dare to challenge yourself  regardless of the possibility of failure. That you love, even when you're afraid of getting hurt. And that you trust that life carries you, even when it doesn't seem to.

I just need to be brave enough. The sun always shines somewhere.

Love,
Tiina

Not today

Oh, well. So I failed the driving test. Big deal. Huge actually, or so it feels. I've been so disappointed and frustrated the whole day I don't know how am I so calm now. I hate doing things I can´t and driving a car must be the hardest thing I've ever tried to learn. At times during these past months I've felt like I've failed as a human being 'cause I don't know how to drive. And now I have to take even more driving lessons before I can try taking that cursed driving exam again. I swear, next time I feel like I have too much money on me, I'm gonna buy a horse.

Thanks to my dad though, who comforted me: "You just try and get over it somehow. And then you try again" He always believes in me, even when I don't.

Love,

-Tiina

Gaining my strenght

Just a quick post now to let you know I'm still here. Lately I've been (again) too tired to write anything.

I spent last weekend in Oulu, and I'm very happy I did so. I thought I couldn't go there at all this month, for I have too little money and too much school work to do and I felt miserable because of that. Luckily my friend Johanna persuaded me to come and gave me a lift too. It was an easy weekend, I had a lunch with my godmother, saw an art exhibition and watched movies and played scrabble with my man. Very nice and laid-back.

Today I took a day of from school to rest. Tomorrow is a big day, and I have to be relaxed and focused and calm. And not to hit anybody. Wish me luck.

Love,

-Tiina

Väinö

Oh joy! I finally have a systems camera! I spotted a great offer in todays paper, and immediately rushed to the shop half an hour before it closed. I've been wanting a proper camera for years now, and now I have one. I was so happy I got lost several times on my way home from the shop =D

Now I really can start practicing photographing, and hopefully this means there'll be more pics in here too.

Love
-Tiina

Stressed out!

Right now, I guess for the first time during my studies in the Kuopio Academy of Design, I really hate my school. It's great that we get a chance to take part in the Heimtextil-fair in Frankfurt, but the workload just seems unreal. I mean 45 surface designs and 10 or something structure designs in one month! I'm not sure if I've done that many designs in the whole of my studies.. At this point I don't even think I'm gonna make it, I just wish I'll survive through this month somehow.

The positive thing about this all is, that I finally have some motivation to clean my room. Just like every other person, to avoid thinking and doing whatever I'm supposed to be doing, I start cleaning whenever pressures at school grow unbearable. I'm sure my flatmate thinks this could happen bit more often..

Love
-Tiina

Life carries

Today we had a tutormeeting with our teacher on the subject of our thesis. I've been distressed for a while, for I felt like I hadn't done a thing to further my thesis. And yet somehow everything seemed to clear and fall in its place at the meeting. Suddenly I knew for sure, that I would do only one work for the exhibition as my thesis, and I got some good tips for the theory base to back up my work. I was very happy with the results of the meeting and later on, as I chatted with my friend Johanna, we came into conclusion, that life has a funny way to sort things out the way we want. Even when we don't  yet know exactly what we want. I guess some might call it Guidance, but I like to think it's self-executing prognosis. That if you have even a tiny clue of what you want in your life you'll start working toward it  even unconsciously. And so, sooner or later you have what you wished for. Or something similar. This way, I believe, life carries you, if you let it.

Love,

Tiina

Bloglovin

You can follow me also in bloglovin. Just klick the button down at right =)

Tiina

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Going forward

Few weeks ago we decided with my friend, that we want to hold our own textile-art exhibition as our thesis. It would be loosely on a theme of "going forward" and we would both interpret it as we like. I've gradually come to decision that in my works I want to process all the emotions I´ve gone through during the past year. I want to nail my depression, sadness, panic and refusal on the walls of the gallery and then leave them there. And before doing so, I would crown them with these new feelings of happiness and contentment. Though right now it seems that processing those good feelings in to works of art is much more challenging than those of negative feelings. For they are so tiny and fleeting moments of happiness. I have to practice more feeling and naming them, letting them come to me and holding on to them. Then it should be easier to work them into tangible objects.

So much work is to be done but I feel happy and set to roll up my sleeves.

Love

-Tiina