Laugh at yourself before others do

A while ago I celebrated about Hurdis going public.. Well, it turned out I forgot to add this blog to blogilista before celebrating. Now I have Hurdis added there and luckily I can toast to that.

Cheers!

-Tiina

Findings

Today was a good day. I had a day of from school so I paid my weekly visit at KELA (the social insurance institution of Finland). There had been a mix-up with some of my benefits and I had to go and clarify it. Luckily it didn't take long and the clerk was very friendly. After that was done, I decided to go and look for some sunglasses. I knew what I was lookin for and quite quickly I found them: silvery Ray-Bans! Obviously not the real ones, but anyways. First I thought they were too big and bold for me, but now I've fallen in love with them. I also bought a pair of big round-ones for the up-coming hippie-summer =)

Later in the afternoon I went to the flea market near my home. And what did I find! A pair of tight black jeans, a brand new red and black-checked flanel shirt and a bomber jacket with fleece lining, all together for 3,50 euros! I'm not sure about the jacket, but the shirt and jeans actually looked quite good on me. I'm very happy with them, it's so damn difficult to find shirts that fit and look good on this unnatural body of mine. Who'd have thought that the 90's fashion would come to the rescue of me and my bump?? Not me.

I was so happy with my findings and the day in general that I went and bought some cider and snacks. Now I´m just gonna sit back and relax, watch some series and maybe knit something.

 Happy weekend to y'all!
-Tiina

Trekking fever!

Yesterday I went to see my therapist for the first time in weeks. After I told her what I´ve been up to for the past few weeks, and what I´m looking forward to in the future we decided that I´ll start training again. 

From Inari, summer '09

I don't know whether its a good decision or not, but I have a goal and I want to reach it: next autumn Synja is arranging a hiking-meeting in Koli, and I want to take part. For years I've dreamed of going hiking in the summer in Lapland, but I´ve never managed to do that. When I was "healthy" I was always working and then last summer went by while recovering from the heart surgery. But this year, if my heart´s with me, I'm going trekking! And the best thing is, that I would be going with others who can't stride so briskly. So I wouldn´t have to saunter alone in the end of the line, calling for others to wait for me while I take another break. We´d be taking the break together.

Today, I came across an inspiring article about a blind lady who climbed the Pyrenees with the help of her dog and a man who scuba dived even though his legs were palalyzed. Truly nothing is impossible.

Tomorrow I'll call my physiotherapist so that we could plan my training together. I don't want to train too hard and end up in hospital after the first two weeks. It wouldn't be good for my plans.

Have you ever been hiking? Did you enjoy it?

-Tiina

Hurdy-Gurdy Life goes public!

Finally I´ve "published" Hurdy-Gurdy Life today! From now on Hurdis can be found atleast in in blogilista and maybe in some other bloglistings too.  

I'm writing this blog to my pleasure and as a therapy. When I started writing this blog, I decided that I would write in secret for couple of weeks and see how I'd feel. At first I wasn't so sure whether I wanted anyone to find this. After a while I started thinking I'd like someone to read this too, so that this wouldn't be just me blabbering alone. I told some of my friends about the blog and receaved positive feedback about it.  So I decided that the time would be right to let Hurdis loose in to the world =) Loads of thanks to my tiny group of readers and your encouraging comments. Hopefully, someday there'll be more of you.

To celebrate the publishing I made coconut-pancakes and ice-tea and shared them with my friends. Also, I designed a little poll you can take part in.

-Tiina

Your Story

I found this from the homepage of Finnish tv-network YLE and I had to post it here 'cause it was so beautiful. It's in finnish, but I translated it to you. Hope you like it.

Listen. Can you hear? You are expected. The whole world and all its' little miracles are waiting for you to find them. There is so much new and strange things ahead that some of us cringe at their smallness and fear. You shouldn't be afraid or a good life will be left without left without living. Keep your eyes open and you're free to see everything. The power of imagination makes us limitless.

Some of us believe they own something. Some think they own a lot. But the world, it belongs to the ones with zest for life. And the future, it belongs to them who believe in the beauty of their dreams. And you can't get enough of beauty. Thus devour life, for fairness is positively way too little when it comes to life.

Walk a new way to work. Smile to people you don’t know. Call an old friend. Sing. Dance. Ask your neighbour how is he doing. Believe in your dreams. Seize the moment and be present where you are. Forgive. Give life a chance. Give a kiss. 

Give reasons for joy – also for them, of whom you think they won’t deserve it. Remember, that the weak ones are cruel ones, and kindness you can expect only of the strong ones. And remember, that you do have the strength. You may not always know, if you are happy or sad, or which of these you even should be.

Stop to think, but stop only to think. You can never tame a horse, if you keep sitting on the fence. Laugh at life. Laugh at setbacks. Laugh at yourself before the others do.

Go on a journey and find a path, so that you can walk on side of it. Find someone, you can hold on to. Find someone, who listens. Someone, who wants to understand and wants to listen. If you seek for only one thing, that will be the only one you will ever find. Find your story. Your story.

Lots of Inspiration to your day!

-Tiina

A restless soul in the sun

Spring makes me restless. I want to go out, amidst people, of to adventure!

I would so, so much want to go traveling. Every day I'm thinking of all the possible places to go and see. Actually, allmost any place in the world would do. If I just could get out of this town and this country for a while. It feels like the earth under my feet was burning.

Years ago I felt the same and left to Ireland, where I stayed for one year. I was daring and didn't ask the doctors anything about going abroad. I was sure I could manage by myself, like I did too. But now I don't feel so secure. What if I get too tired, or something happens or my heart gets worse? Of course this time I wouldn't have to stay so long. Only for a week or two. And frankly, I.m living so aloof now, that if something happened it would take almost as long to travel from here to Helsinki, as it would take to fly there from pretty much anywhare in Europe. So, instead of worrying, I should start planning and saving money.

Yesterday I was out with my classmates. It was good fun, we had couple of ciders at the local pub called Malja. After that we went to Ida´s and played Trivial Pursuit and had little snacks. After Easter we're planning on going to bowling. Happiness is coming home late after spending a night out with friends.

-Tiina

So productive!

Today I went to school and for the first time for way too long stayed all day! I'm so happy I went and that I stayed all day till evening. Now I got my report half done. Actually more than half done, I'll finish it tomorrow! Also I got some new ideas for my next project and for that essay I wrote about last sunday. Such a funny feeling, after working all day, I feel like I'm full of energy and inspiration. Makes me wonder why dont I go to school every day..?

A while ago I read an article, where they said that between mammals, when stressed out, the female seek the closeness of the pack to relieve their stress. I was quite surprised 'cause I found it to be so true, based on my own experience. I think I wasn't so social a year or two ago but now, the best thing about going to school is that I get to see my classmates. Spending time with them, chatting and working brings me a feeling of normalcy. While at school, I don't have time to think about my illness. At school I'm just like everyone else. One of the pack.

Another thing I'm so happy about today is the notion that it seems that the diuretics doctors prescribed me are finally working. I´ve lost two kilos (of fluids) in a month and if I lose another two or three I'd be back in the shape I was before I got ill. It´d be the end of the preggo-talks. I'm not productive that way ;)

-Tiina

Sunday Readings

I suppose these pictures of stacked books are a bit of a cliché, but I had to post my own too. I love books! I like having them, reading and flicking through them and even smelling them. I´m quite positive I could never own enough books.

I have already finished one book, of my 12 books/ year challenge. I read Christopher Isherwoods' Goodbye to Berlin. The musical "Cabaret" is based on this novel.Initially I started reading the novel  for school assignment but then decided I wouldn't write my essay about Christopher. Or Sally Bowles. Or maybe I will, I'm not sure yet. I suppose Sally Bowles and the whole atmosphere in pre-war Germany would have the makings for an essay about creative people and creativity. 

Tomorrow is Monday. I wished I could stay home reading instead of going to hospital, or school or even more to Social Welfare Office. Blah.

-Tiina

Back home

I got back home from Helsinki late last night. It was a short but good trip even though I lost my calender and catched cold..

Anyways it was great fun to see friends and the meeting was very useful. We had lectures about different topics associated with congenital heart defects (CHD from now on). One lecturer, heart-surgeon Markku Kaarne, told us about hearts' re-operations. He operated my heart last May and finally now I understood what he did  almost a year ago. And I must say it was pretty wild! Of course he explained the operation to me several times back then, and even draw pictures, but I must have been wrong in the head too, 'cause I just couldn't get it. Well, to my defence I can say none of the general practitioners that I've met afterwards understood it either.

When the lectures were over, I had few hours to chat with the others. Then I hopped in a train to Kuopio and the others went bowling. As for Helena, I had a piece of red yarn with me, to mend my mittens, but I was too exhausted after our rummaging through several flea markets.

Today it was warm and sunny enough to go out in leather jacket and a cardigan. I'm afraid this blog'll turn into a weather blog =)

-Tiina

Heart me, Heart you.

Yay! Today I'm going to Helsinki and this time not to hospital! I´m going to a Synja meeting with other young adults with heart condition in Pasila, Helsinki. Synja is a division of Finnish Association for Heart Children and Adults, meant for young and adults with congenital heart defect.

I joined the Finnish Association for Heart Children and Adults last summer after I got ill last spring. My family had been a member before, when I was little, and we used to go to these weekend meetings at Rovaniemi with my mum and brother. Last autumn I attended one of these meetings in Suomenlinna, for the first time in more than ten years. I remember I was so nervous and excited about the trip I almost cancelled it. But I'm so glad I went. I met people who had gone through the same I had and I made new friends. We had information about heart-transplantations but also lots of entertainment. We held a Christmas party and Santa Claus visited us and there was a magic-show. I think the best part though was to spend time and chat together among other activities. And I have to say that humour between gravely ill people and normal people is VERY different =D

It was such a good weekend and now I get to meet with my new friends again. I´m so excited!

Also, I´m staying over at my old classmate from Oulu. I shold take my knittings with me, since everytime I'm staying at Helenas' and see all her lovely yarns and handcrafts and knitting magazines I get this huge urge to start knitting immediatly.

But now I gotta start packing. Happy weekend to y'all!

-Tiina

Wisdom of the words

"The only real disability in life is bad attitude."

So says Scott Hamilton, an Olympic athlete who´s gone through brain tumor, cancer and some unknown illnes that stopped him growing when he was child. After reading that, I thought that if I could remember that for one day, whole day, I'd be a bigger person. I've pondered about that now for couple of days, and something about it makes me depressed. Why can't I think like that? Why must I complain and whine about my looks for example, when things could be so much worse? Why am I depressed when leading surgeons and other doctors have worked so hard that I could live? Why must I have bad attitude??

Well, since Scott Hamilton with his wise words couldn't guide me toward optimism, I decided to search for my own inspiring quote. And here it comes! This is from Clarence Worley, in True Romance. "That's the way it goes, but don't forget, it goes the other way too." Things can be bad now, but don't forget, they can be better too. Take that, Scott Hamilton!

What is your inspiring quote?

-Tiina

Birthday Resolutions

Here they come, my Birthday Resolutions!  More than a week late, but well, better late than never, eh?

Resolution no.1
Be positive. This is a bit shady. After a year has gone how will I know whether I've been more positive now than the year before?  Well, I'm gonna try now and mull over that later then.

Resolution no.2
Make something to someone I like. Surprisingly, giving a gift I made myself to someone I like makes me happy too.

Resolution no.3
Get rid of junk and hold a flea market with friends.

Resolution no.4
Read atleast twelve books. A book per month shouldn't be too difficult.

Resolution no.5
Try snowboarding. It might be that there's no better way to enjoy early spring. Luckily my friend already promised to teach me.

Resolution no.6
Study Spanish.

Resolution no.7
Get a driving license. This might be the toughest one. I'm afraid that I might kill someone if I drove a car. But it would be nice to finally get that license. Then I could go roadtripping with friends and take turns in driving the car.

OR

Resolution no.8
Go traveling. I would so so so much want to use the driving license- money traveling. But I did that the last time too with my cousin Minna, when I turned 18. We didn't get too far though, only to Kouvola and back. So that doesn't count =D


Now I have a whole year left to fullfill my resolutions. Wish me luck!

-Tiina

PS. Have you ever made any resolutions? Did you manage to keep them?

Spring is here!

Spring is here! Or it has been for several days already, but still. The sun is shining and it's not so cold outside anymore.  Phew. I´m so glad winter is over. It feels like weight has been lifted from my shoulders and it's so much easier to breathe. Feels like there is still hope left in my live. 

To celebrate spring, I bought a bunch of tulips and would like to share them with you. Enjoy the spring sun!

-Tiina

Finglish?

I've posted two posts now and already I'm wondering why I wanted to write in English. Maybe some of my readers (when I finally have them) are wondering the same. 

The original idea was that it might be easier for me to write about my feelings in English. To create this happyhappyjoyjoy-English speaking alter-ego. But it turned out that  my vocabulary might not be vast enough to do that. I can do the everyday chit-chat, but at least occasionally I´d like this blog to have more depth than that. Also, I'm wondering if I get my tone of voice right. I'm afraid that I sound too cocky or too positive or  strangely American or basically anything else than what I intended. But if the Americans, to my experience, seem happier and more easy-going than the Finns, then whats the harm?

Well, since I've already started, I'm stubborn enough to keep on going. Also, I like the name Hurdy-Gurdy Life too much and it isn't even nearly as good in Finnish. So please, bear with me and my Finglish and keep on reading.

-Tiina

PS. I'm working on on some birthdays' resolutions, and hopefully I get to make a post about them.

Skiing holiday!

It's skiing holiday and I´m spending it at home in Ivalo! In the past few days I´ve seen my friends and my little goddaughter, gone sled sliding and ice fishing and had fried sausages and marshmallows by the campfire. All in all good times!

Here are some pics I´ve managed to take.

A day went by just snoozing on the couch with Linda.

 Warming my toes by the fireplace after sled sliding.

 Icefishing at Rahajärvi. No fish, just great weather.

 After all I have to say our outdoor activity-skills were embarrassingly rusty. No matches, no mustard on the sausages, not enough clothes, our car gets stuck in the snow and I make a huge mess of my fishing yarn etc. No wonder a woman by the campfire asked whether we were locals..

Tomorrow starts the Sled Slide World Cup in Saariselkä. We´ll see if I find myself wandering after hot chocolate over there. Might be fun..

-Tiina

Introducing Hurdis

Hello everyone and welcome to Hurdy-Gurdy Life. This is my blog about trying to be more positive.

Long story short, about a year ago I got very ill, had major heartsurgery and in the aftermaths of that, got depressed. Basically I thought there´d be no more good things in my life never, never, ever again. No point even trying. Well, lately I´ve been feeling a bit different. I´m sick of being sick and sad all the time, thinking I can´t do this or I can´t do that. I want to get better, get over this and get back in the game. So, to make sure I´m really trying, I´m gonna report all the nice and happy and positive encounters and thoughts that I´m surely gonna have. I hope you enjoy the ride. I myself, am definitely trying ;)

-Tiina